Please Try These Anger Management Techniques

Do you find yourself becoming angry at the least little thing? Maybe your toddler interrupts your newspaper reading by climbing on your lap, and you become irritated. Perhaps your wife asks you to take her shopping, and you get angry because you were planning to go golfing. Learning some basic anger management techniques can restore a sense of self-control to your inner or external responses to situations like these. Even if you hold in your anger, it may not hurt others, unless they sense your withdrawal or unspoken irritation, but it will hurt you. Studies show that people who let anger build up inside tend to suffer more health problems than those who have less anger or manage it in productive ways. Many anger management techniques are easy to learn and practice, so give them a try before losing your temper unnecessarily again.

Anger Management Technique #1: Drain your brain

When your temper begins to flare, one of the best anger management techniques is to mentally challenge yourself before taking out your anger on others. Ask yourself questions about the source of your irritation, the degree of your anger, and the other person’s actual role in the situation. Turn circumstances around to see how you would want to be treated if the other person felt as you do. These mental gymnastics can help you regain control over runaway emotions before they escape and cause external damage.

Anger Management Technique #2: Walk off the anger 

In those moments when you feel the familiar rage start to rumble, excuse yourself if others are present and take a quick walk down the hall or outdoors, depending on whether you are at home or at work, and the weather conditions. Even a five- or ten-minute stroll, especially one that is fast-paced, will help to cool your irritation as you practice the fight-or-flight strategy by escaping the potential conflict, which is one of the more popular and useful anger management techniques.

Other valuable anger management techniques include keeping a diary and writing about negative emotions to get them out of your system. You also may want to keep a pet, since studies show that petting a dog or cat, for example, helps to reduce blood pressure levels and harmful substances in your system that can damage blood vessels if left unchecked. Talking over situations with a trusted friend and venting to a therapist are two more anger management techniques used by thousands.

Don’t let anger get the best of you. Experiment with these and other anger management techniques, or visit useful websites like anger-management-information.com (site is not complete yet) for more information on how to tame the beast of anger in your breast.

Anger counselling management

The Nature of Anger

Many of us have some very definite ideas about anger. We see anger as destructive and hurtful. We consider it to be an inappropriate response. We equate anger with violence. In short, we feel that anger is simply wrong, and that when we experience anger, theres something wrong with us. Anger isnt nice. Anger isnt polite. And anger certainly isnt our friend. Anger can be all of these things. But anger is also useful, necessary and even healing. We need our anger. We simply need to learn how to express our anger in appropriate, conscious, supportive ways. On its own, anger is neither good nor bad. It can be used to hurt, or it can be used to heal. It may not be a particularly pleasant emotion, but its an important one. We can all benefit from exploring the nature of anger.

Guy Williams, a friend of mine who also happens to be a minister of Religious Science offers a tremendously insightful approach for understanding anger. Guy says that anger arises from a communication not delivered or an expectation not met. Anger is actually a tertiary response: our initial responses are grief and fear. First, we grieve the death of the expectation that was not met. Next, we fear that things will never change. Finally, we experience anger. So few of us recognize that anger can be a positive, healing response. When we allow ourselves to experience anger, it focuses our minds, and strengthens our resolve. We discover reserves of strength and power. Our anger is what gives us the courage and the power to confront our fear that things will never change, by creating change.

Lets consider an example. We expect that our boundaries will be respected by others. When someone crosses a boundary, that expectation has not been met. The first thing we do is grieve the death of the expectation that other people will respect our boundaries. We feel unsafe because our boundary has been violated. But we also experience fear. Were afraid that things will never change: that our boundaries will not protect us because other people will not honor them. Our anger, however, is what allows us to change this. Our anger gives us the strength to defend ourselves. Our anger gives us the power and the courage to stand up and demand that our boundaries be respected.

Our anger, in fact, enables us to feel safe again. Expressing our anger helps us to redefine and reinforce our boundaries. We know we can defend ourselves, and therefore we feel safe.When we dont express our anger in healthy, conscious ways, we buy into the fear that things will never change. We feel unsafe. More importantly, we expect that we will always feel unsafe. Unexpressed anger inevitably turns to resentment and depression. Anger is our call to awareness. Our anger encourages us to become conscious of a limiting belief. The key to experiencing anger in a healing way is to own our anger. We can then choose how to express our anger. We do not need to lash out, nor do we need to hurt anyone with our anger. Instead, we can choose to alter our thinking, change the limiting belief, and reclaim another piece of our true selves. When we embrace and understand the true nature of anger, anger can empower us, and help us to feel truly safe.

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Kevin B. Burk is the author of The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life. Visit http://www.everyrelationship.com for a FREE report on creating AMAZING Relationships.

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